My college roommate told me that there is a saying in Russian, жизнь боль, which literally translates to “life is pain.” On first hearing it I laughed and thought such a bleak outlook sounded comical; however, this bit of dark humor does feel good as a light-hearted joke when life does feel like its nothing but pain. The truth is, life is full of painful experiences, and sometimes it feels as if we don’t have the resilience to bear anything greater than what we currently bear. However, we can all access a powerful tool to build resilience–gratitude.
Gratitude is a key to unlocking resilience that can pull us through intense pain.
Imagine, or maybe you don’t even have to imagine, that everything is crumbling around you; pressures are mounting at work, school, or in your family. You are running on fumes and it seems like there is absolutely no way you could take on any more. What do you do? The last thing you would feel inclined to do is to be grateful for the difficulties you are going through. No! you might think, these problems are literally the reason I am miserable, why on earth would I be grateful for them?! Fair enough, but consider this thought.
Odysseus would not have become the man he was without his epic, challenging journey, the American Revolution would have meant very little without the struggle and great cost to obtain freedom and independence, and Michael Jordan’s story would not be very inspiring without all the losses and failures he had to persevere through.
If we allow it, our trials can be wonderful gifts.
President Russell M. Nelson of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, responded to the COVID-19 pandemic by admonishing us to focus on gratitude. His message is both inspiring and informative:
“Feeling grateful does not always happen naturally. Thankfulness is something like a muscle we can exercise. Just as we can cultivate ingratitude, entitlement, bitterness or cynicism, we can foster gratitude, appreciative humility, delight and joy.”
–Tish Harrison Warren
Without a doubt, this kind of mindset takes willpower, but actively practicing gratitude for our trials, even as we experience them, is incredibly powerful and enabling. Moreover, once you shift your perspective from blaming your trials to embracing your trials as the opportunities they really are, you can change the game and use that momentum to slingshot yourself forwards instead of backwards.
Researchers from the University of Miami conducted studies testing whether expressing gratitude made a difference in happiness and health. They found that when people express gratitude in relationships they have healthier, stronger relationships; when people express gratitude to their close ones in their lives they have significantly higher happiness scores for up to a month; and when groups of people note what they are grateful for in general, they are much more positive than the other tested groups.
Additional content: This summer I listened to Simon Sinek’s podcast episode on gratitude with Omar Brownson. Consistent with President Russel Nelson’s words, Brownson shares how gratitude has helped him find peace, resilience, and connection with others. I highly recommend it.
Do not be afraid to give thanks amidst the storms of life, and not just for the good things, but the very things that try you the most.